text only: "subconsciously i constantly narrate my life in my head in a third person in a british accent."
([personal profile] maewyn Mar. 16th, 2010 01:38 am)
Today was good.

daily nattering )

I was taking a dish back to the kitchen just now when I felt something else surprising: I was happy. It was that feeling of being exactly where I ought to be, doing what I needed to be doing, keeping my life humming along. Not fighting against the current, not daydreaming or escaping. Knowing that I was in the right flow of things. I used to get it sometimes at my last job, on days when I felt YES, this is what I need to be doing with my life -- and it feels a lot like home -- the kind of home that you carry with you. Home, in your place in the flow of things, no matter where you physically are at that moment. (To a lesser extent, I feel it in circle, when everybody's in the right position and they're each doing their thing and the energy is moving. Flow.)

I missed that feeling.

And I'm scared as hell about the job thing. Moving home to be near family is good, but ya gotta have income. I still think it looks stupid to go back to a state with one of the worst unemployment rates in the country, especially when the general lack of jobs was one of the biggest reasons why we left in the first place, four years ago. But when this feeling shows up? I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing. I don't fucking know why, but I'm doing it.
Peacock Angel
([personal profile] verdelet Mar. 15th, 2010 05:12 pm)
Recovering from a lengthy illness, during which the owner of Tradwitch.com decided to close the site. good times for all.
([personal profile] darkwidow69_sine Mar. 14th, 2010 11:11 am)

I think I shall eat pizza for lunch, and perhaps cherry pie for dessert. Soon as I get around toit, which will probably be approximately around 1:59pm. I'm just sayin.

Happy natal anniversary date Herr Doctor.
a bright yellow star on a drab green background
([personal profile] maewyn Mar. 13th, 2010 07:44 pm)
Preliminary packing has begun. The dining room (except for the curtains and the pantry cart) is all packed up, and is now holding boxes. We stopped because we ran out of packing tape. So we did the easy stuff, like taking photos and art off the walls, that also screams WE ARE MOVING. Hopefully this will be our last move for the next couple of decades and the thought of not having to move again for a long, long time will add some motivation.

I decided to keep out one box with my reference books, the books I most wanted to read, and the library books that go back before we move. All the rest of the books can get packed. This, and having an actual written to-read list to work from in the first place, should keep me from feeling like I can't narrow them down and they all have to come. (The plan, if we borrow friends instead of getting movers, is to pack a huge truck and follow in the car with the cats, computers, and anything else we'd need right away. My reference/to-read box is going in the car.)

When I stopped to check my email, I had one from Demand Studios saying "thanks, but no" to my editorial application. Am trying not to go all "shit, I can't even do that."

At least I can cross "start packing" off my to-do list. Tomorrow or Monday -- maybe Monday, because we have to go to the DMV for Matt's parking placard and the car dealership because somebody smashed up the damn driver's side mirror -- we shall get packing tape and pack some more.

I feel like packing won't take us all that long, but I'm on my tenth move, and I know better. It doesn't look like all that many books until you run out of boxes, have lost a room to stacks of packed boxes already, and haven't even packed up the kitchen yet.

ETA:
Sorted through the Massive Pile of Papers I've been building for ages. Went into the file boxes and pulled out an equally massive stack of old papers I can safely shred, once we get another shredder. (And the packing tape.) The sorted papers went into their files in the appropriate boxes. This was such an undertaking I spent three hours doing it. Only one nasty surprise: a letter from Citibank confirming my current payment arrangement and reminding me that my account will be closed and remain closed after the arrangement is up. OMFG!WHAT. I only took that arrangement because the guy on the phone told me my account would NOT be closed. Without this account I lose 5 years of credit history! I checked online and Citibank is showing that my account is past due, which it damn well shouldn't be since they're auto-debiting payments under this arrangement. Oh, there will be a phone call Monday morning. I am fucking pissed.

But at least I have an idea where we stand financially. I should go to my planner and make notes about what things have been paid, so I can finish getting up to date. Then we face the shambling horror of the deep that is our taxes.

I can predict that I will not be in a particularly good mood on Monday.
Nine years ago a local man named Ronald Van Der Plaat was sentenced to 14 years in jail for the rape and torture of his daughter.

While reading the newspaper today, I found out that he was paroled last month.  I feel appalled, sick, and despairing.  

I keep thinking things like:
How can people like him even exist in the same world that I experience?
Why is it so often men that do things like this?
What would I do if I ran into him on the street?

I want to write more about this, but I'm honestly too distressed.
.

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